-Buffy
DEAD MAN'S PARTY
"Unbelievable. 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!' Americans."
-Giles
FAITH, HOPE, AND TRICK
"Oh, the one that nearly bit me mentioned something about kissing toast. He lived for kissing toast." "You mean 'Kakistos'?" "Maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos. What?"
-Buffy and Giles
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
"'Night came on, and a full moon rose high over the trees... lighting the land till it lay bathed in ghostly day. And the strain of the primitive remained alive and active. Faithfulness and devotion, things born of fire and roof were his... yet he retained his wildness and wiliness. And from the depths of the forest, a call still sounded."
-Buffy
HOMECOMING
"Scott? There you are, honey! Hey, good news. The doctor says that the itching and the swelling and the burning should clear up, but we gotta keep using the ointment."
-Faith
"As Willow goes, so goes my nation."
-Oz
BAND CANDY
"Whoa! There are some foxy ladies here tonight!"
-Snyder
"I don't get this. The candy's supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I've had a ton, and I don't feel any dif... Never mind."
-Xander
REVELATIONS
"You would just love an excuse to hurt him, wouldn't you?" "I don't need an excuse. I think lots of dead people actually constitutes a reason." "Right. This is all nobility. This has nothing to do with jealousy."
-Buffy and Xander
LOVER'S WALK
"She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared? It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me. So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy!"
-Spike
THE WISH
"I never would've looked twice at Xander if Buffy hadn't made him marginally cooler by hanging with him." "Really?" "Yeah, I swear! I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale." "Done."
-Cordy and Anya
AMENDS
"Angel." "I bet half the kids down there are already awake. Lying in their beds... sneaking downstairs... waiting for day." "Angel, please. I need for you to get inside. Th-there's only a few minutes left." "I know. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes." "I don't have time to explain this. You just have to trust me. That thing that was haunting you..." "It wasn't haunting me. It was showing me." "Showing you?" "What I am." "Were." "And ever shall be. I wanted to know why I was back. Now I do." "You don't know. Some great evil takes credit for bringing you back and you buy it? You just give up?" "I can't do it again, Buffy. I can't become a killer." "Then fight it." "It's too hard." "Angel, please, you have to get inside." "It told me to kill you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again." "I know what it told you. What does it matter?" "Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly! I want to take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care. Look, I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It's the man." "You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it." "Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster." Angel, please, the sun is coming up!" "Just go." "I won't!" "What, do you think this is simple? You think there's an easy answer? You can never understand what I've done! Now go!" "You are not staying here. I won't let you!" "I said LEAVE! Oh, my God..." "No! No!" "Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone!" "What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to make you go away... I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard... and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't." "Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong." "Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together. But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you, because..."
-Buffy and Angel
GINGERBREAD
"Aw, man, it's Nazi Germany, and I've got Playboys in my locker!"
-Xander
HELPLESS
"So, how's it going with Amy the rat?" "Good! She loves her new exercise wheel. She runs around, her nose wiggles..." "I-I meant, how's it going changing her back into a human being?" "Oh. Still working on it. But I just got her the cutest little bell..."
-Buffy and Willow
THE ZEPPO
"What are you, retarded?" "No! No, I had to take that test when I was seven. A little slow in some stuff, mostly math and spatial relations, but certainly not challenged or anything."
-Jack and Xander
"I'm good. We're fine. Just a little bit dirty. Good show, everyone. Just great. I think we have a hit." "Are you okay?" "Tip-top, really. If anyone sees my spine laying around, just try not to step on it."
-Xander and Willow,
"Excuse me? Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?" "Yeah. That was real manly how you shrieked and all." "I think you'll find that was more of a bellow."
-Xander and Faith
BAD GIRLS
"Is he evil?"
"Not in the strictest sense."
-Buffy and Giles
"I didn't get this job because of my looks."
"I really, really believe that."
-Wesley and Buffy
"New Watcher?"
"New Watcher."
"Screw that."
"Now, why didn't I just say that?"
-Faith and Buffy
"Remember the three key words for any Slayer: preparation... preparation... preparation."
"That's one word three times."
-Wesley and Buffy
Consequences
" You and me, Faith, we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness."
-Angel
"Yeah, but we hung out a little... recently, and she seemed to be, um... responsive." "When did you guys hang out?" "Oh, she was fighting one of those, uh, apocalypse demon things, and I helped her. Gave her a ride home." "And you guys talked?" "Not extensively. No." "Then why would you... Oh."
-Xander and Buffy
"I've seen it, B. You've got the lust. And I'm not just talking about screwing vampires." "Don't you dare bring him into this." "It was good, wasn't it? The sex? The danger? Bet a part of you even dug him when he went psycho." "No!"
-Faith and Buffy
"You sent your boy to kill me." "That's right, I did." "He's dust." "I thought he might be. What with you standing here and all." "I guess that means you have a job opening."
-Faith and Mayor Wilkins
Doppelgangland
"For a thousand years I wielded the powers of The Wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe. And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. Child. And I'm flunking math."
-Anya
"No, it's fine. I'm 'Old Reliable'." "She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals." "That's Old Faithful." "Isn't that the dog that, that the guy had to shoot..." "That's Old Yeller."
-Willow and Xander
"I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace." "Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in Hell?"
-Anya and Willow
"Buffy, I... I just... Something's happened that... Willow's dead. Hey, Willow. Wait a second." "We're right there with you, buddy."
-Angel and Xander
Enemies
"Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore."
-Giles
"Got the address. I beat it out of Willy the snitch personally." "You beat up Willy?" "Sure! Well, actually, let's just say I applied some pressure. Or more accurately, that I asked politely, and then, uh, okay, I bribed him."
-Xander and Buffy
"Twenty-eight bucks. Does the Council reimburse for that kind of stuff?" "Did you get a receipt?" "Damn."
-Xander and Giles
Earshot
"Hogan Martin thinks he's sooo hot! Like we should all be awed by him 'cause he put a ball in the net." "Hey, Xander!" "He said my name!! He said my name!!"
-Xander and Hogan
"They really are very good." "Their spelling has improved." "You know Oz, I look at all this beauty, and these health young women and I wonder why I ever wasted my time on Cordelia. I mean, look at her....she's no better looking than the rest of them." "None of them are really my..." "Oh my god!! He's looking at her! He's got his filthy, adult, pierce-brosny eyes all over my Cordy!" "You're a very complex man, aren't you?"
-Xander and Oz
"Is this the thing? The aspect thing? Because I have to say if it is, it is way better than a tail. I mean, I have a hard enough time finding jeans that fit right." "Buffy, slow down. I'm not even convinced that this is genuine mind reading. Your, your most likely projecting your..." "When I walked in a few minutes ago, you thought 'Look at her shoes. If a fashion magazine told her to, she'd wear cats strapped to her feet.'"
-Buffy and Giles
"What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex! Help! 4 times 5 is 30. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked girls! Naked woman! Naked Buffy! Oh, stop me!" "God Xander! Is that all you think about?!" "Actually.....bye!"
-Xander and Buffy
"Come sit with me. Why are you.....You had sex with Giles!?!?! YOU HAD SEX WITH GILES?!?!?" "It was the candy! We were teenagers!" "On the hood of a police car?!?!?!" "I'll be downstairs, you feel better." "TWICE?!?!?"
-Buffy and Joyce
"I'm glad to see you've recovered from your psychic encounter more or less intact. Feel up to some training?" "Sure. We can work out after school....you know, if you're not too busy having sex with my MOTHER!"
-Giles and Buffy
Choices
"Okay, what's in the bag?"
"My lunch."
"Is that the new drug lingo?"
"No, it's my lunch."
-Snyder and a student
"Everything in life is foreign territory. Kerouac. He's my teacher. The open road is my school." "Making the open dumpster your cafeteria?" "Go ahead, mock me." "I think she just did." "We Bohemian anti-establishment types have always been persecuted." "Well, sure. You're all so weird."
-Xander,Oz, and Buffy
"Looks like a job for Wiccan girl. What do you say, Will? Big time danger." "Hey, I eat danger for breakfast." "But oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods."
Buffy, Willow, and Xander
"So you're the little girl that's been causing me all this trouble. She's pretty, Angel. A little skinny. Still don't understand why it couldn't work out with you and my Faith. Guess you kind of just have strange taste in women." "Well, what can I say? I like them sane."
Mayor and Angel
The Prom
"Anya, huh? Interesting choice." : "Choice is kind of a broad term for my situation. See, it's either Anya or the sock puppet of love for this boy. [Speaking as the sock puppet] 'I love you, Xander. I'll never leave you.'" "Well, if Anya tries to get you killed, put me down for a big 'I told you so.'" "'Who's this Anya? Is she prettier than me?'"
Oz, Xander, and Willow
"Well, at least we all have someone to go with now. Some of us are going with demons, but I think that's a valid lifestyle choice. More importantly, I have the kick dress." "Ooh, the pink one?" "Angel's gonna lose it. But not his soul. He's gonna lose it. His it."
Buffy and Willow
"We have one more award to give out. Is Buffy Summers here tonight? Did she, um... This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write-in ballots, and, um, the prom committee asked me to read this. 'We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you, but that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here.'"
"Zombies! Hyena people! Snyder!"
"'But, whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you, or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the Class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history. And we know at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class, offers its thanks, and gives you, uh, this.' It's from all of us, and it has written here, 'Buffy Summers, Class Protector.'"
Jonathan and crowd
Graduation Day (Part 1)
"What's her saga?" "She's freaking." "About what?" "The Mayor is going to kill us all during graduation." "Oh. Are you going to go to fifth period?" "I'm thinking I might skip it." "Me too."
Cordelia and Xander
"The Council's orders are to concentrate on ..." "Orders? I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more orders. Not from you, not from them." "You can't turn your back on the Council." "They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing." "Giles, talk to her." "I've nothing to say right now." "Wesley, go back to your Council and tell them, until the next Slayer comes along, they can close up shop. I'm not working for them anymore." "Don't you see what's happening? Faith poisoned Angel to distract you, to keep you out of the Mayor's way, and it's working. You need a strategy." "I have a strategy. You're not in it." "This is mutiny." "I like to think of it as graduation."
Buffy, Wesley, and Giles
"What's the matter? All that killing, you afraid to die?" "That's mine." "You're about to get it back." "Man, I'm going to miss this. ... You did it. ... You killed me. ... Still won't help your boy,though. Shoulda been there, B, quite a ride."
Faith and Buffy Graduation Day (Part 2) "Any change?"
"He's delirious. He thought I was Buffy."
"You too, huh?"
Oz and Willow "Well, I'm going to need every single one of you on board. Especially you Xander. You're sort of the key figure here." "Key? Me? Okay, - pride, - humility, - and here's the mind numbing fear.
Buffy and Xander
"I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan." "We attack the Mayor with humus." "I stand corrected."
Cordelia and Oz
"Of course, that's it. We attack him with germs!" "Great, we'll corner him and then you can sneeze on him." "No! No, we'll get a box with the Ebola virus and... and.... Or it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says Ebola on it and... umm chase him... with the box..." "I'm starting to lean towards the humus offensive." "He'll never see it coming
Cordelia, Buffy, Xander, and Oz
"Guys take a moment to deal with this - we survived." "It was a hell of a battle!" "Not the battle, high school. ... We're taking a moment ... and we're done."
Oz and buffy
